Faith

So much has been going on the last couple of weeks. And the only way that I have been able to get through this is by Faith alone. I have to have Faith that everything in the end will be ok-because it is God's Will.

Strength

Somebody that I love with my whole heart is dealing with something that will forever change their lives and the lives of everybody close to them. I pray for strength to help this person get thru this life changing experience. I need to have Faith that all things happen for a reason and even though we may not see the good of it yet, I have to have Faith that this will all work out for the best. I need to keep my eyes on The Lord always, praise Him everyday, lay my problems at His feet and know that He will take care of everything because this is His plan.

Tired

I am so tired. Dealing with the death of a loved one really takes it's toll on a person. I can't imagine how my mom & her siblings are feeling. I know how I feel as a grandchild-empty, lost, & so very, very sad. I'm so Thankful that I have such a loving & supporting husband who is allowing me to have this time to grieve and deal with it the way I need to. The church service today was so wonderful. I love my little country church! It was dedicated entirely to Granny Carrie. The church members there today that are not family prayed that my family that was grieving would find peace & understanding and reassured us that God is there for us and Oh what a celebration they are having in Heaven! I can just imaging Granny Carrie getting to see her parents, siblings, and children who have gone on before her. That is the only thing that is helping me keep it all together-knowing where she is and who she's with!

Very sad today. My wonderful 94 year old granny passed away early this morning. On one hand I'm so very happy because I know where she will be spending eternity and I know one day I will see her again. But my selfish side is so sad and heartbroken. When I go to Church on Sunday she won't be sitting (sometimes sleeping-haha) in the pew in front of me. She won't be there to get "sugars" from my boys. The best way to honor her is to try to live my life the way she did hers! Loving the Lord, Loving her family and Loving Life!

Starting Over

Just like starting over with a new blog....since it has only been since June that I did this last. What has been my problem? Alot has been going on that's for sure. I've been working part-time hours temporarily for a "sister" company of where I worked before. It has been somewhat challenging to me to go into a new place and not have as much responsibility as what I was use to. Some days I have nothing to do, but if I tell them that they may let me go. I'm still looking for work, sending out my resume every week! Finally some things are starting to happen. I had an interview yesterday for a part-time job who would be very flexible with me concerning the kids, but the pay not that great. I have a 2nd. phone interview this evening for a full time job that will start out as a temp. to hire and then after 90 days (hopefully) they would hire me. I guess I will decide what to do after this interview. I really need to go somewhere where I can be steadily busy throughout the day. I feel my brain turning to mush a little more every day!

Well, last nights blog had me determined to do something with my day today. I did take a 1/2 hour walk around the neighborhood at 6:00 this morning. Had Cameron to the orthodontist by 8:00. Then came home to mow the grass, do dishes, dust, vacuum, and pick up living room, dinner and 4-H meeting. Not too bad. I just cannot get past this anxious feeling that I am having that something is about to happen-something bad......don't know what, don't know when, but I just feel it. I pray every morning noon and night for the security of Scott's job. I pray for the health of my family and friends and their family and friends. Is HE listening? I just don't know.....and that scares me the most.

Start of a New Week

As of right now, I am bound and determined to get my butt motivated tomorrow morning! As of right now, I plan on getting up with Scott in the morning and go for a brisk walk and be done before 7:00am. As of right now, I plan on watching what I eat-starting tomorrow. I have pigged out all weekend long, I'm freakin' miserable, and I only have myself to blame. As of right now, it all sounds like a grand plan......we'll see how it sounds at 5:30am!